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In America, poets are held in this kind of reduced esteem that even the most Honored Consultant from Nigeria would not hassle scamming us. Culture says to us what Dermot Mulroney says to Julia Roberts in “My Ideal Friend’s Wedding,” that we are “The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum.”
Even remaining cheated by Mr. Honorable Minister, even so, is preferable to the poetry scams that have proliferated. Wind Publications’ Literary Fraud tutorial has this to say:
Concealed between the several sponsors of respectable literary contests advertised on the net lurk people who care minimal about literature, its audience, or authors. These companies and persons exist only for gain by way of their so-termed composing or poetry contests. Typically you’ll locate these “free of charge” poetry contests lavishly advertised in your area newspaper.
There is a cottage industry of composing scams perpetuated by pus poetry pimps, the main amongst them International Library of Poetry, aka Noble Residence Push, aka Poetry.com. They market in Usa Weekend and the Penny Saver–very well, not the Penny Saver, but they might as nicely, mainly because that sums up their feeling of poets. If you’ve viewed the advertisements or obtained a letter that says, “Congratulations, your poem has been selected for our subsequent anthology,” congratulations, you’re remaining cheated.
Like so-referred to as modeling businesses or “expertise brokers” who prey on the dreams of nubile ladies seeking to be the upcoming Lindsay Lohan, poetry pyramid strategies exploit the number just one hope of writers: publication, and extra importantly, recognition. Quite a few great Net web-sites these as Preditors and Editors and PoetryNotCom element the outrageous mechanics of poetry “anthology” cons, and the infamous Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest by WinningWriters.com cheerfully skewers vanity poetry contests and the submicroorganisms who perpetuate them.
How do you place a poetry scam? Search for…
1. Crazy pie in the sky prize quantities.
I ran the DeAnn Lubell Skilled Writers’ Competitors. Most poetry contests with looking at costs pay out, at most, $1,000, and that’s for a reserve-duration manuscript of poetry. For a solitary poem, the first prize pot is normally a whopping $100, $150 tops. A $20 million prize, as dangled by Noble Home, is a massive crimson flag. Oh, and no one at any time gives poets a possibility to acquire a earth cruise. It’s ordinarily assumed that we sail all-around the world on a Mark Twain raft, a sampan, or a Hemingway skiff.
2. No contest costs.
Wergle Flomp is the only “F*r*e*e” poetry contest. Now, persons on the World wide web and toiling poets in a natural way leap at the term “F*r*e*e”. But, like victims of all those modeling frauds, you’ll conclusion up spending for your second of cut price hunting. Modeling ripoffs want you to get the job done with a distinct photographer (generally phony European). Also, poetry scams will never allow you even see your poem in print unless of course you pay for the anthology. When you do shell out for the anthology, you could wonder if you just purchased a copy of the Penny Saver, for the reason that your poem seems to be like it was crammed on to the web site to make place for the “Location the Distinction” puzzle and the grownup talk strains. Then there are people awards banquets…
3. Phony awards banquets.
10 decades ago, no joke, I gained a mailing from Well-known Poets Society that lured me to fork over the income to go to an awards banquet and convention. If I paid my income, I could sign up for the elite organization of poets this sort of as…Ted Lange of “Appreciate Boat” fame. Who knew Isaac the bartender was a closet Langston Hughes? Additionally, I could get $6,000 in doorway prizes. Now, if you have at any time attended a poetry studying, primarily in coffeehouses, you know that poets have on their vow of poverty as proudly as a Che Guevara T-shirt. Just the assumed of winning $25 in a poetry slam designed my fellow poets and me weep far more cathartically than the contestants on “Deal or No Deal.” And Ted Lange usually won’t go to.
4. Questionable reputation or none at all.
In poetry, if you don’t have Nikki Giovanni, Czeslaw Milosz or Donald Hall front and heart in your journal, as well as various angsty Jap European poets, would-be poets fall you like Oprah dropped James Frey. Glance for publications, publishers and poetry contests that publish and are judged by literary lions. It can be Bukowski or bust. And when Poetry.com are unable to figure out that Dave Barry and 20/20 are hoaxing them, the joke’s on Poetry.com. Equally, if a vainness press rates you $3,000 to $8,000 to publish your selection of poems, and the best author promoted by Façade Push is an eighteen-calendar year-aged producing poems from the place of perspective of her liver, help save your cash for the really hard function of truly submitting your poems to Threepenny Evaluate, or literary publications or publishers that you read through about in Writer’s Marketplace or Poets and Writers.
5. Promotion in newspapers and shiny magazines.
Authentic poetry contests will not market in United states of america Weekend–positive, United states Weekend may well sponsor a teenager essay contest, but poetry advertisers? Overlook it. Folks will not choose up United states of america Weekend as a literary publication, even however Usa Weekend options books and authors. If you see a mass contact for poets in a mass market place magazine, give it a pass up. Real poetry contests get deluged with submissions as it is. They don’t need to have to fish for far more.
6. Sending you a letter of acceptance for a contest you are unable to try to remember getting into or a publisher you are not able to bear in mind distributing to.
I admit, as a writer I have issues preserving observe of what I sent to whom and when–we go into producing to stay clear of paperwork, not do it, whilst when we’re not in the temper, reorganizing information instantly results in being as tempting as a working day in Cancun. Fortunately, Writer’s Market functions a Submission Tracker, and some enterprising bloggers in fact article their submission agenda to make the rest of us sigh in unorganized envy. If you cannot obtain the go over letter/e-question in your file cupboard, on your personal computer, on your Zip generate (you do again up, ideal?), or in your Despatched folder, prospects are you hardly ever submitted to Countrywide Library of Poetry or Wordscum.com (apologies if there essentially is a Net web site out there named Wordscum.com). Indeed, following 300 rejections, receiving an acceptance letter may be a enhance, but to misquote Groucho Marx, assume two times right before you acknowledge just any club that will have you as a member. Goal bigger. Imagine if JK Rowling experienced just reported, “All proper, I’ll fork out a million lbs . to have a several hundred copies of Harry Potter for my buddies and kinfolk to obtain.”
7. Promising to get your e book or handsome anthology on the bestseller rack in bookstores.
Variety one, PoetryNotCom is 1 of the many internet sites reporting that this declare is bogus. Number two, most men and women who go into a bookstore to examine poetry in all probability can uncover the poetry section blindfolded and commit a few several hours debating the symbolism in Whitman about a decaf skinny latte at Borders Café. Selection two, even though acquiring your e book in bookstores is however the gold normal, Amazon.com and on the internet retailing make it simple for even the tiniest press to get guides found. Variety 3, bookstores are so glutted with inventory that they are unable to even stock the POD guides, enable on your own anything at all from ScamPoet Publishing or Poetry.com, and bookstores will not accept vanity push books. For that subject, no poet other than Ludacris or Jimmy Carter will conclude up on the bestseller listing in a bookstore. We never go into poetry to be abundant. We go into poetry to seem our barbaric yawp…and a fellowship or two is good, also.
Quite a few starting poets get bilked, but you really don’t have to. If you are intelligent and bold, you will be a productive poet with tons of lierary magazines and e-zines bearing your byline. Poetry.com and its ilk will usually be “The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum.”
